Submission without domination is when you keep doing what he wants even after he keeps insisting he doesn't want it. Domination without submission is when he keeps telling you to do something and you keep telling him to f*** off.~ Linda

Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has. ~ From the movie Dolores Claiborne

There are times that words fail me. The muse becomes reclusive. She is fickle in her affections. Some days she gives generously, in abundance. Other times, she is one stingy bitch. She is a demanding Mistress. No matter how futile the task seems, the hunt for her linguistic mother lode never ceases. I am bombarded with stimulation all day. Sometimes it’s difficult to translate it into coherent thoughts at night.

As many issues as I have worked through, there is another level that deserves attention. It’s like stripping away all the “stuff” to see what’s buried underneath. I REALLY need to start a second journal. Something that no one else would ever see. A place where all the things that I can’t share can reside.

So many vixens find themselves in the almighty “Catch 22” of romance. If not romance, relationships. It’s a hard thing to explain, and even if you do try to explain it, very few get it anyway. It’s one of the true exercises in futility.

You take a lonely little vixen, that really would like some companionship on occasion. Now we all know the Hounds motto, ‘use em and lose em.’ A quality vixen won’t settle for that. Shouldn’t settle for that. Loneliness will cause them to get caught up in it nonetheless. Soft, sweet, gentle words are a trap. A vixens heart is their quarry.

I am addicted to Delilah at Night. I adore Her program. Every now and then, when Delilah’s callers expound on all her vixenly qualities, expound on her virtues, she asks a very simple, heartfelt question, “If I’m so great, why am I alone?” There are a plethora of vixens asking themselves the same thing. I believe the answer is found in economics. Namely the concept of supply and demand.

If a vixen falls into total desperation and is willing to settle on just any old thing, she can find Mr.-Any-Old-Thing hanging around just about anywhere. She may not be happy with it, she may even be down right miserable with it. But it validates her. She HAS someone. She will hang in there, praying for Mr.-Knight-Complete-With-Steed to climb the tower and rescue her. If she’s already with someone, how is Mr.-Knight to know she needs rescued?

The best movie scene in the history of the world is the end of ‘An Officer and A Gentleman’. Come on vixens, you know it is. The tall handsome Man in Shining White Uniform struts confidently into her place of employment, takes her in His arms and “takes her away from it all”.

I cannot imagine anything short of a Monty Python film depicting a tall Handsome Knight In Shining White Armour, riding His steed into a vixens living room, her hound sitting in his recliner, beer in hand, other hand down his under britches, remote control teetering on a hairy thigh, looking all Homer Simpsonish, with a passel of pups sitting wide eyed, glued to the television set. The vixen hops up, rips apart her dowdy house dress, reveling low cut sexy lingerie (never mind she was wearing spiked heels with a house dress for an evening of Desperate Housewives). Mr. Knight reaches down and pulls her up onto His steed and exits stage left, leaving behind a bewildered hound and pups. (That is if they even noticed her departure. That would depend on the program and whether or not a commercial was on.)

Back to economics 101. You have X number of vixens. You have Y number (to the Nth degree) of Hounds. You have a severely disproportionately low number of Foxes. So, what’s a vixen to do?

If she doesn’t “settle” for the sake of being able to say, “yes, I have someone” she is accused of not liking herself. If she settles on that hound, so she can sleep at night, secure in the fact that, well, at least there is someone, she’s accused of not liking herself. If she tries to be discerning, she doesn’t like herself. See the reoccurring theme here?

I have a gal pal that is just as cute as a bug in a rug. She’s intelligent, witty, beautiful. She’s in the same ’unsettling’ boat as so many of her vixen sisters. Someone told her that if she were more coquettish, the Fox of her dreams may come riding in on the noon train. She likes who she is. She knows her own mind. Vixen evolution would dictate, one doesn’t make changes to please others. One makes changes to please oneself.

Let’s face it. No matter how many changes are made, it won’t amount to a hill of coffee beans anyway. A hound isn’t looking for wit, humor, intellect. They are looking for a warm body. For the moment. Nothing more. If I wanted to be reduced to that state, I would donate my body to science now, while I’m still warm.

The word that comes up repeatedly in describing me, is ‘intimidating’. I intimidate people. When I ask how or why this occurs, most people can’t explain it to me. I am a strong personality. I freely admit that. There is no reason to deny it. But, intimidating?

I asked one of my best gal pals the question, why in the world would anyone find me intimidating? This was her response, “You are pretty. Funny. You are one that does what you say. You don’t NEED a man the way a man needs a woman.” I’m not sure why these attributes would be intimidating.

How do you tone down, a naturally strong personality? Or rather, why would one want to? I like me. I like me a lot. I’m the best me I know. But it seems that it’s not acceptable to be me. I am expected to be a watered down, lesser version of me. One with a handle on it.

A wicked vixen, an innocent princess, a moaning slave, a demure poetess, a mystery, one held deep in the heart. What vixen doesn’t long to hear those words to describe her? It’s a strange concept, but one can become chained in a bondage of freedom. It is no less a prison than ones addictions and appetites. It’s finding the right fit. What makes one happy. Where someone really wants to be, not just being there because there is the feeling there is nowhere else to go.

I wish you the desires of your heart, in the equal measure that you are willing to bestow them.

Til next time...Love, sassy v

© sassy vixen1 2005

"Desperado"~ EAGLES LYRICS
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late